PAGE ONE Like we did with the opening of issue three, this opening page is six equal sized, box shaped panels. Most of the page is a look at a TV screen and should maintain something of the TV screen shape. PANEL ONE: Summer Gleeson, just a talking head, hosts her own gossip show. Above her, to the upper right of the panel is a pair of images of Bruce Wayne and Barb Gordon. They are separate photographs, one each of Barb and Bruce. SUMMER: Speaking of hot gossip...What local billionaire has been seen globe trotting lately, with the daughter of Gotham’s beloved police commissioner...? PANEL TWO: Same shot of Summer, but the graphic to the upper left of the panel is a photograph of Bruce and Barb getting off a plane in a Paris airport, Bruce is throwing his hand up to block the photograph, but doing it casually. SUMMER: First Paris and then the far East...Has Barbara Gordon finally tamed Bruce Wayne’s playboy side? PANEL THREE: We pull out to see that we’ve been watching Summer on the gigantic screen TV in the den at the Wayne Mansion, (seen prominently in the episode Christmas with the Joker). Dick is eating a sandwich in front of the TV while he watches. Alfred stands beside him, holding a serving tray that used to hold the sandwich.... SUMMER ON THE TV: ...the two of them are inseparable, say close insiders ALFRED: My word... DICK: Bruce isn’t going to like this... PANEL FOUR: We’re back on the TV screen, essentially the same shot as the first two panels. The shots of Wayne and Gordon to the upper left are gone though, replaced by a photo of Harley in costume. SUMMER: In other news, Dr. Harleen Quinzel is back, after making headlines with her release from Arkham Asylum last month, when she was declared legally sane. SUMMER 2: Ms. Quinzel, better known as the costumed villain, Harley Quinn, signed a major book deal today for an undisclosed sum... PANEL FIVE: My word, is it the same shot as the last panel again? SUMMER: The book, for Columbine Press, is reportedly going to be a tell-all biography about Ms. Quinzel’s years with the Joker, and should touch upon her many encounters with Batman and Robin. PANEL SIX: Pull out shot, same idea as panel three, only we’re closer on Dick’s face than before. Alfred can be seen standing behind him still. SUMMER ON THE TV: Look for that sure-to-be best seller to hit the stores sometime in early May. ALFRED: My word, again. DICK: Yeah....I can tell you someone ELSE isn’t going to like that.... PAGE TWO PANEL ONE: Splash Panel. We’re in the common room at the Asylum. Joker is extending his right arm waaaay back and over his head, winding up to pitch a fastball-throw with his shoe at the TV to smash the screen. Two or three hospital strong guys try to wrestle him to the ground, or at least, pull the shoe out of his hand, but Joker is far stronger than all of them (though I’m not sure why...) VERY VERY IMPORTANT: Joker must be wearing a short sleeved shirt. MUST have a short sleeved shirt. In the background, other members of the rogue’s gallery play checkers, stand about, or do what it is they do in the background of these panels. Two Face, Ventriloquist and Scarface, the Hatter...the usual crowd. The only villain I absolutely need to see is Ivy, who stands back a little from the commotion the Joker is causing. She looks out a barred window into the night sky. Ivy’s inclusion in the background of this splash page should draw NO attention to itself...the reader should have no more interest in Ivy than in Hatter or Two-Face...but she must be there. Joker screams in rage at the situation. JOKER: WHAT!?!? JOKER 2: SHE CAN’T DO THAT!! JOKER 3: I’LL KILL HER! JOKER 4: I’LL MURDERIZE HER!!! JOKER 5: HARLEYYY!!!! The title should go at the bottom of the page, so that it reads AFTER Joker’s word balloons. TITLE: MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD. PAGE THREE: PANEL ONE: Joker struggles against the weight of the big orderlies and manages to throw his shoe anyway. We see Pam in the background again, but still don’t really focus on her. She is the only inmate in the common room NOT interested in Joker and his fight with the hospital staff. JOKER: It’s bad enough she hasn’t written me or come to see me since they let her waltz out of here... OKER 2: But to turn our relationship into a cheap, tawdry entertainment for the masses.... PANEL TWO: The thrown shoe connects with the TV set, hitting the off switch and shutting down the picture... Joker is pleased, (if we can see him in the panel, which I’m not sure we need to do.) JOKER: ...I should have thought of it first. PANEL THREE: Now we go close on Pam. A reverse angle, looking into the room through the window Pam is looking out of. Still she ignores the tussling and fighting behind her. A few small drops of rain begin to spatter against the bars of this window out onto the night. Pam’s face, which fills much of the window and much of the panel, smiles with the realization that the rain is beginning. In the background, Joker is being wrestled to the ground by the three orderlies. He isn’t resisting anymore, having smashed the TV, which was what he wanted to do in the first place. JOKER: WHOA!!! Bob...Jerry....Bill.... JOKER 2: You’re getting awfully familiar for a first date! I’ll get a reputation.... PANEL FOUR: Pull out. Biggish panel which shows us the whole room....we see that Joker is pinned effectively to the ground, and that the fun and excitement is, for the moment anyway, over. The other inmates go back to their checkers and reading....Pam has not once turned her face away from looking through the bars of the window to the outside world. A few more drops of rain are falling...but certainly nothing like a rainstorm yet. The biggest of the orderlies has his finger in Joker’s face, admonishing him. Joker attempts to be contrite, but it doesn’t come off that way, really. ORDERLY: Shut up or I’ll get rough. Are you gonna behave now, clown? JOKER: Like an angel on Christmas morning....yeah, yeah. Let me up. PAGE FOUR PANEL ONE: Joker dusts himself off and glares after the departing hospital goons as he heads over to talk to, the still oblivious, Pammy. She stares out the window at what you may NOW describe as a rain shower. Perhaps a distant strike of lightning helps the scene as it lights up Pammy’s unseen face through the bars of the window. Joker mutters something to himself but when he notices Ivy he changes his mood.... JOKER: Cringing civil servant Philistines...temper is an artform, dullards. JOKER 2: Say, PAMMY!!! PANEL TWO: Joker gets up close to Ivy, perhaps putting his hands on her shoulders and getting in her face to whisper conspiratorially. She tries to ignore him and reaches for something in her pocket...we can’t see what it is yet, but the reaching for it should be clear in the shot. It’s definitely raining hard outside the barred window. JOKER: We have to blow this joint...and soon... so we can stop the presses on this bothersome bon mot from Harley... JOKER 2: Poison Ivy is sure to be mentioned in the memoirs too, and there’s some saucy secrets I know you’d like kept... PANEL THREE: We get to see what it was that was in Pam’s pocket...in her hands are some very odd looking seeds and she’s pushing them through the bars of the window, out onto the sill. Joker doesn’t pay much attention to what Pammy’s doing, and continues to fantasize aloud about what he’ll do when he gets his hands around Harley’s neck... IVY: Men. Always think you can tell women what to say or do.... PANEL FOUR: We follow the seeds as they drop to the rainy ground two or three stories below the window that Pam just pushed them out of. I don’t think there’s any way to work Pam and the window in the panel, so don't worry about it. Just so long as we see these strange looking seeds hitting the wet earth, I’ll be happy. Pam continues to speak in caption panels... CAPTION: ”Whatever’s in her book is her decision, Joker.... PANEL FIVE: Back upstairs, Ivy moves away from the window, past Joker. She continues to talk to him but is looking at him for the first time. He, however, does not back away from the window, and now stands rather near it, where Pam was moments ago. IVY: ...I’m not in the slightest bit worried about what she writes about me. PANEL SIX: Close up on Pam, smiling slyly at a secret. IVY: And as for escaping... PAGE FIVE PANEL ONE: Huge panel, taking up at least a half of the page, perhaps more. A gigantic branch from a gigantic beanstalk crashes through the thick concrete walls of the Asylum, from directly below the window. This should be obviously the result of the seeds recently dropped. A flash of lightning helps up the drama of the crash. Joker, since he was standing very near the window, is carried off violently by the force of this vegetable intrusion into the building. Bits of concrete and rubble and broken glass go flying everywhere. Pam was standing sufficiently back from the point of entry for this version of Jack’s beanstalk to have avoided the fury of its energetic entry. Others in the room are also thrown about by the force of it all, but none quite so much as the Joker. I imagine it makes a big noise. SFX: KRRRASHHH!!! PANEL TWO: A reaction shot. Joker lands on top of the giant beanstalk roughly. Pam starts towards the hole in the wall... PANEL THREE: Joker looks up at Pam with a wonderfully evil grin at this situation. He’s instantly assessed that it’s an opportunity for escape, while the rest of the room is dusting themselves off and checking themselves for broken bones. JOKER: Talk about a green thumb!! Way to go, Plant-lady! JOKER 2: That’s my ticket out of here! PAGE SIX PANEL ONE: Pam steps between the Joker and the hole in the wall...she puts her hand up, in a stopping gesture IVY: Uh-uh...This is my escape, clown, not yours. IVY 2: I didn’t work on this for weeks just so you could get out and kill your girlfriend. IVY 3: Don’t make me do something you’re about to regret. PANEL TWO: Joker makes a face like he’s thinking something confusing over. He rubs his chin and screws his brow up. JOKER: Hmmm...you present me with a bit of a problem, Pammy... PANEL THREE: Joker solves his problem with the standoff by hauling off and punching Ivy right in the face. It’s a punch of such surprising ferocity that Ivy could be forgiven for not seeing it coming. Joker, of course, doesn’t have the slightest compunction against hitting women. Perhaps some of the guards are managing to get off the floor by this point, but we probably don’t see them in this panel, unless you can work it in. JOKER: Here’s a solution! JOKER 2: And believe me, this hurts you a lot more than it does me! JOKER 3: Hahahahahaha! PANEL FOUR: Ivy goes down, hard. Joker begins to step through the hole in the wall, (three stories up). The guards begin to rush towards the source of all the trouble, getting to Ivy first. JOKER: Hahaaha! JOKER 2: I must be off! Busy day ahead.... JOKER 3: Say, Pammy, could you pick up my mail and water my plants while I’m away? JOKER 3: HAHAHAHA! PANEL FIVE: Joker slides down the giant beanstalk in the rain, towards the ground. VERY IMPORTANT, he has to slide down it by wrapping his arms and legs about the stalk, exposing as much skin with the slide as you can make look reasonable. (I figure with the loose fit of the hospital clothes, the short sleeves on the shirt and the pants can ride up a bit as he slides down. This way the skin on the arms, legs and his neck can be exposed to the surface of the plant.) ALSO VERY IMPORTANT: Up above the Joker, Pam is being restrained, by the guards, from following Joker down the beanstalk. She struggles against them, shouting at the Joker as he descends.... IVY: This isn’t over, Joker !IVY 2: I’ll won’t let you hurt, Harley! I’ll stop you! JOKER: HA ha ha ha ha ha ha!I VY 3: I’ll stop you!!! PAGE SEVEN PANEL ONE: An establishing shot of a run down hotel, somewhere in the seedy part of Gotham. It’s called THE DeMILO ARMS. It may look like any rundown hotel you with, Rick, but it must have a fire escape on one side, in an alleyway that’s fairly dark and thin. WORD BALLOON FROM HOTEL: Good afternoon, Mr. Rushdie... WORD BALLOON FROM HOTEL 2: Who was that? PANEL TWO: We’re inside the hallway of the hotel now, following Harley and a middle aged man as they walk towards a hotel room. The pair is accompanied by the “babies”, who snort and look about. Harley is dressed in her “street clothes”, a shirt tied off at the tummy and hot pants. Perhaps she roller blades, perhaps not. In the extreme foreground of the panel, either walking away from the little group, or going into his own hotel room, is Mr. Rushdie. Mr. Rushdie is a bald headed, vaguely middle-eastern looking man with glasses, wearing a dress with fake boobs. He’s a very bad transvestite, to say the least, and it should look obvious that he’s not good at it. The middle aged man is Harley’s publisher, Mr. Columbine, and he carries her suitcase for her, very gallant. MR. COLUMBINE: One of my other endangered writers. I keep him here for safe keeping, just like I’m keeping you. HARLEEN: I don’t need protectin’, Mr. Columbine....honest.PANEL THREE: Mr. Columbine puts a key into the door of one of the rooms...room 12. MR. COLUMBINE: The Joker was heard shouting threats about you and your book, just before he broke out... HARLEEN: But...MR. COLUMBINE: I’m not taking chances with the author of my next best seller... PANEL FOUR: Close up on Harley’s as the two of them go in through the open hotel room door. Harley shows a little disdain as she speaks Joker’s name. HARLEEN: Mistah J... I mean the Joker... was just blowing off steam. HARLEEN 2: He doesn’t care about me, or what I do any more. HARLEEN 3: We haven’t been an “item” for quite a while... PANEL FIVE: We’ve gone into the room now, and it’s a bit of a depressing, dismal place. The walls are dirty and contain that sort of hotel painting that makes one lose the will to live. There’s one large window, but it looks onto a fire escape and a dark alleyway anyway. At a desk is an old fashioned typewriter and a few reams of paper. Next to the desk is a mini-fridge. The babies storm in, perhaps one hops up on the bed. Mr. Columbine puts down the suitcase. Harleen’s expression isn’t that bad though. The awfulness of the room isn’t getting to her. HARLEEN: It’s mostly why I got declared sane. MR. COLUMBINE: Still, why take chances? MR. COLUMBINE 2: Now, I’ve set you up with a typewriter and stocked the fridge and if you need anything, just call the front desk. MR. COLUMBINE 3: You’re registered under the name “Elise Archer”, got it? PANEL SIX: Mr. Columbine heads out the door, waving and smiling as he goes. Harl stands in the room, surveying her new surroundings. HARL: ...yeah...Archer...got it. MR. COLUMBINE: Okay now... MR. COLUMBINE 2: Write, write, write! PAGE EIGHT PANEL ONE: Harley opens up the suitcase. Though it has one or two items of clothing, it’s mostly filled with odd toys, (nothing Joker related, though) pieces of raw meat, a couple of hardcovers, a bathroom plunger, and papers from the manuscript of her unfinished book. The babies dance around her feet, hopeful for a treat. HARL: Well, ain’t this a fine how’d ya do? HARL 2: I trade one dingy cell for another... again, thanks to Mistah J. HARL 3: The sooner he’s out of our lives, babies...the better. PANEL TWO: She tosses a huge slab of raw meat to the babies over her shoulder while looking at a photograph she’s pulled from the suitcase. We can’t see what’s on the photo, but from her expression, and from what she says, we should believe it’s a photo of Ivy. Though we can’t see the front of the photo, it should be distinctive in some way, perhaps a special looking tear in one corner, or a stain on the back. I need this to be something we can recognize later, because the last page of this story will return to this photo, and I need the readers to remember it, and know it’s the same photo when next we see the front of it. The babies leap up to catch the tossed meat. HARLEY: I just wish this bein’ released stuff didn’t mean I had to stay away from all my other friends at Arkham— HARLEY 2: I kinda miss Ivy and the rest of ‘em... PANEL THREE: She puts the photo down, and picks up the two hardcovers to look at them. The titles are I’M OKAY, YOU’RE OKAY, HE’S KIND OF WEIRD, by Dr. Harleen Quinzel, and PSYCHO KILLERS AND THE WOMEN WHO LOVE THEM TOO MUCH by Dr. Harleen Quinzel. In the background, the babies begin to fight over the slab of meat, knocking over the suitcase full of toys and we should see the bathroom plunger in this shot. HARLEY: But writin’ a best seller’ll make me lots of new friends, you’ll see. HARLEY 2: Everybody’ll invite me to parties and soirees! I’ll be the toast of the town! PANEL FOUR: She tosses the books over her shoulder, much the same way she did with the meat a moment ago, and heads towards the desk with the typewriter on it. IN the background, the babies continue to tussle over the meat, in amongst the toys. Everything scatters, and the bedspread starts to be pulled off the bed by the energy of the hyena fight. They snarl and snap at each other. HARLEY: This new book’s gonna do better than these crummy things I wrote back when I was a full time head shrinker. HARELY 2: It better! I gotta make a living again...BABIES: Grrr grrr! PANEL FIVE: We reverse the focus of the panel. The babies, and the incredible mess they are making of the room is the feature of this drawing. Toys of all descriptions are tossed around the room and the bed is in complete disarray. The hyenas’ fight has reached biblical proportions, and it’s impossible to believe this could happen in a room with a human being in it, who’s ignoring them. Rick, sound effects of grr-ing, thanks. In the background, Harley sits down at the writing desk, attempting to compose her thoughts, preparing to begin work. HARLEY: ....now that I’ve been declared “sane.” PAGE NINE PANEL ONE: Establishing shot of a large mansion, something the same size as Wayne Manor, but not the same design. A car has pulled up to in the circular driveway, and Mr. Columbine has left the car to walk up the small set of stairs leading to the front door. PANEL TWO: Columbine goes inside, and starts to take off his hat and coat in the front foyer. It’s oddly very dark inside the house, like there’s not a light on anywhere in the building. COLUMBINE: I’m home! PANEL THREE: Mr. Columbine plays with the light switch near the door, but it doesn’t work. Perhaps the front door is left open so there’s a little light from the outside (a moonlit night, as almost all nights in Gotham seem to be...) illuminating the scene. Otherwise it’s quite dark. COLUMBINE: Oh dear. The lights aren’t working. SFX: Klick klick klick. PANEL FOUR: Columbine calls upstairs for his butler. It’s an impressive spiral staircase leading away from the foyer, with a large window behind it. The moon is visible through the large window, again, throwing some light into the front hall, but not much. COLUMBINE: Jenkins? Jenkins? COLUMBINE 2: Where is that butler...? OFF PANEL VOICE: I’ve given him the night off... PANEL FIVE: Columbine turns to see Joker coming into the foyer from around the corner, perhaps from the unseen living room. Joker holds a candle and it underlights his face in such a way as to make the evil clown appear even more frightening, if that were possible. The publisher is startled, naturally. COLUMBINE: Good lord! JOKER: Oh, don’t fret, book boy, I’m not going to kill you. JOKER 2: I need you alive to publish my memoirs when I write them next week... JOKER 3: But until then.... PANEL SIX: Joker goes up close to Columbine, leaning into his cringing face with a big grin. This is the sort of moment that the Joker lives for...appearing out of the darkness and scaring the shit out of people. JOKER: ...You’re going to tell me where you’ve stashed my little Harley pumpkin, or things could get nasty. JOKER 2: You read me? JOKER 3: HAHAHAHAHAHA! PAGE TEN: PANEL ONE: The wee hours of the predawn (six in the morning) finds Harleen having finished at least twenty pages of writing on her book. and they’re piled up on a desk... There should be papers everywhere, some crumpled, some stacked up on chairs and beds, but no attempt has been made to clean up any of the mess caused either by Harley’s work, or the babies fight last night. On top of the bed, the babies are asleep, happily. Make sure we see the bathroom plunger. She finishes typing one last page which she pulls from the typewriter and lays on the pile near her. HARL: Yawnnn... HARL 2: That’s enough genius for one night, Harl! PANEL TWO: She steps away from the desk and starts to put on a hat and glasses that she finds on the floor. It’s going to be a disguise of sorts, much like you’d expect a movie star to wear when going out shopping so as not to be recognized. HARL: It’s gotta be six in the morning... PANEL THREE: She moves over to the window, which has the curtains drawn, and throws them open. HARL: I wonder if the sun’s come up yet... PANEL FOUR: Close up on Harl as she reacts with tremendous surprise to whatever’s outside the window. The readers aren’t allowed to see it yet, but from the expression on her face, it’s a safe bet it’s the Joker. HARL: Gasp... HARL 2: You?!? PANEL FIVE: The reveal: It’s not the Joker at all, but instead, Nightwing and Robin are outside on her fire escape, peering into the hotel room. Robin is probably hanging upside down, cause that’s SO him. The sun is not up, by the way....but it’s just pre-dawn, and it’s going to be up in about twenty minutes. The sky is bright red, then. Like I had to tell Lee that, it’s ALWAYS bright red. NIGHTWING: Good morning. ROBIN: Mind if we come in. PAGE ELEVEN: PANEL ONE: Harley turns from the window and walks back into the hotel room. Robin and Nightwing come in, even though they not invited. HARL: No, get lost. I’m a reg’lar citizen now, I gotta certificate and everything... HARL 2: That means I don’t have to put up with you and the B-Man any more. PANEL TWO: Nightwing and Robin follow her towards the desk. Nightwing is focused on trying to tell Harley what’s going on, but Robin looks around and takes in the mess of the room. NIGHTWING: With simple detective work we managed to track you down in a matter of hours. The Joker could do the same. NIGHTWING 2: You need our protection. ROBIN: Wow...and I thought my room was a mess.... PANEL THREE: Harley is starting to get steamed at everyone telling her what to do. She leans into Nightwing to tell him off. Robin suddenly notices the sleeping hyenas in amongst the mess and jumps back just a bit. HARL: Listen, buster. Me and Mistah J are through, you hear? HARL 2: He’s not interested in little ol’ me. He’s got better things to do, got it? PANEL FOUR: Nightwing stands stoically, hands on hips, and keeps up the good guy speech. Robin backs away from the bed, as the hyenas are starting to wake up with all the talking. Harley, very casually, reaches down on the floor to pick up the bathroom plunger. It’s not a movement that would cause anyone alarm, but she’s bending over to pick it up. NIGHTWING: I don’t agree. Robin and I going to have to stick around to keep you safe, or move you someplace safer. NIGHTWING 2: It’s for your own good. HARLEY: I thought the whole point of my being declared sane.... PANEL FIVE: With a swift, sudden movement, Harley sticks the bathroom plunger onto Nightwing’s face. It’s a humiliating and somewhat incapacitating move. The suddenness of her action completely wakes up the babies HARLEY: ....Was so I could start makin’ my own decisions! SFX: THOK! PANEL SIX: The babies leap off the bed and onto Robin, making him just as incapacitated as Nightwing. Harley heads for the window to get out of here (still wearing the sunglasses and hat, by the way.) HARLEY: Keep em busy for mama, babies! PAGE TWELVE PANEL ONE: Harley ducks out the window, and onto the fire escape, leaving Robin with the Babies, and Nightwing off panel somewhere, recovering from a nasty blow to the face, we assume. Robin, though struggling, pulls out a batrope from his belt. HYENAS: Heeee Heeee Heeee! PANEL TWO: Robin deals with the babies with a batrope, hog-tying them like in a rodeo. He smiles broadly at the fun of it. ROBIN: Ten seconds! A new Gotham Rodeo record!! HYENAS: Heeee heee heee heeee! PANEL THREE: Back outside as Harley heads for the roof, via this fire escape. We’re seeing a little more of the area of town we’re in...it’s poor and run down, with a tight little, dirty alleyway below. SFX: (Shoes on the fire escape) Klank! Klank! Klank! PANEL FOUR: Having freed himself of the burden of the two hyenas, Robin leaps out the window of the hotel, with Nightwing just getting up off the floor, a little groggy, rubbing at his face. It was really quite a powerful blow he took, plunger or not. Robin is strongly in the lead. ROBIN: She won’t get far... ROBIN 2: You wanna plunge right in and join me? PANEL FIVE: The two heroes start to catch up to Harley and we can see them all in the same panel now. Robin is in the lead, and is only one floor below Harl while Nightwing trails behind the both of them. SFX: Klank! Klank! Klank! NIGHTWING: It’s not a laughing matter, Robin. ROBIN: Sure...not to you. You didn’t see your face... ROBIN 2: Hee hee. PANEL SIX: Harley is about to make it to the roof, only a few more feet of climbing to go....the first rays of the dawning light are threatening to break out over the edge of the roof. It’s a very subtle thing, but there’s a pair of feet standing on the roof, but they’re so close in the shot we can’t really tell what they are...they look more like graphic shapes than feet, really...Certainly Harley doesn’t notice them. Neither do we.... PAGE THIRTEEN PANEL ONE: Until these feet resolve themselves into the Joker, standing atop the roof, underlit by the light of the streets below and looking very frightening. He does not smile, instead, he stands like a force of pure anger....all of it aimed at her. Harley’s hands grip the edge of the ladder that’s leading up to the roof when she sees him...and amazingly enough, she smiles! (Her puddin came after her after all!) HARL: Puddin’...? JOKER: Read any good books lately, Harley? PANEL TWO: Harley is dragged up onto the roof with much force, by Joker, and Robin crests the edge of it almost immediately afterwards, seeing Joker and reacting in some level of surprise. Harley continues to smile as she’s yanked to the rooftop, no matter how rough it is. She has trouble doing anything but smiling when she sees her baby boy, Mistah J! She’s not thinking about any danger she might be in, cause well....Harl’s not too quick about Joker’s temper sometimes. Joker still does not smile. HARLEY: Ya found me! JOKER: Yes....and I’m going to wring your neck in a minute, pumpkin pie... JOKER 2: After a quick bratwurst. PANEL THREE: Joker pulls a whoopie cushion out of his jacket and aims it at Robin, who’s still about to climb onto the roof from the top of the fire escape. With his other arm, he holds Harley behind him. JOKER: Come on, brat.... JOKER 2: Do your worst... PANEL FOUR: Joker lets loose with a blast from the whoopie cushion. It sends a foul noise and a cloud of gas right into Robin’s face. Robin is more or less on the rooftop now, but just barely...he stands precariously near the edge, poor boy. Harley is not in the shot, as Joker has let go of her arm to properly squeeze the whoopie cushion with both hands. He’s laughing his ass off at the pun he’s just made. WHOOPIE SFX: Blaaaat! JOKER: HAAAAA ha ha ha ha ha! PANEL FIVE: We’re back down, about a story below on the fire escape, watching Nightwing’s reaction when he sees Tim take the face full of whatever was in the cushion. NIGHTWING: Nooo! PAGE FOURTEEN PANEL ONE: Naturally, the whoopie cushion contained the famous Joker gas, and Robin staggers backwards, laughing and loosing his footing on the edge of the roof. Harley stands A couple of feet back from the Joker while this happens, looking apprehensive. She may be backing away, but don’t play that up too much...she’s going to disappear in another panel or two, but I don’t want the reader to anticipate it too much. Joker’s attention is focused on Robin. Robin begins to laugh in that halting, Joker gas way... ROBIN: Heh... OBIN 2: Heh heh heh.... PANEL TWO: Robin backs over the roof and falls into space, laughing like he’s fit to die...which he more or less is. A story or two below, Nightwing sees this, and is already leaping out into space to catch him, thinking nothing of his own safety. ROBIN: HAHAHAHAHAHA! PANEL THREE: Nightwing catches Robin by the ankle, and the force of Nightwing’s leap carries them both towards the wall of the building on the other side of the small alleyway. It’s rather dark in this alley, the sun having not come up yet. ROBIN: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! PANEL FOUR: The Batpair smack heavily into the wall of the opposite building, Nightwing shielding Robin from the force of the blow with his body. Nightwing has tried to reach up and catch the sill of a small window with his free hand, but the force and weight of the fall is making it impossible to hang on. Perhaps it slowed the fall down by a bit...but it didn’t stop it. ROBIN: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! PANEL FIVE: Very small panel...we see Nightwing’s hand loose its grip on the window sill. ROBIN: Ha ha ha ha! PANEL SIX: The pair plummet to the alley below, managing to land amongst a pile of green garbage bags, again with Nightwing twisting around to take the brunt of the impact and spare Robin any damage. SFX: Whump!! PANEL SEVEN: We’re back up on the roof with the Joker, as he looks over to see the damage he’s done. This is a close up shot, and we can’t see much of anything but Joker’s happy face as he thinks he’s killed these two nuisances... JOKER: Oooh! Double play! JOKER 2: And I was just aiming for the boy! PAGE FIFTEEN PANEL ONE: Joker turns to share his joke with Harley, just like old times... JOKER: Did you see them fall like turkeys dropped from a helicopter, Harley? It was just.... PANEL TWO: ...and is surprised to see that she’s not there. The girl’s run off....kind of like a Batman/Commissioner Gordon scene. JOKER: It was... JOKER 2: Now where’d that girl run off to? PANEL THREE: We move down to the ground of the alleyway....A shaken, and slightly injured Nightwing ignores his own pain and quickly picks up a still laughing Robin. Robin’s face is stretching back in such a way as to make it look like he’s moments away from dying. NIGHTWING: You still with me, squirt? ROBIN: Ha ha ha ha! ROBIN 2: Yeah...ha ha ha! PANEL FOUR: He runs around the corner to where the Nightwing Cycle is parked, carrying Robin in his arms, still. Robin’s face continues to distort in a frightening way. ROBIN: Ha ha ha ha! ROBIN 2: But...ha ha ha ha, Joker’s getting away! Don’t worry about me...ha ha ha! PANEL FIVE: Nightwing pulls that air-hypo thing out of a compartment somewhere on the bike, and “injects” Robin with some anti-Joker venom stuff that the Batgang always seems to have around. This calms the hysterical laughter down a bit. NIGHTWING: Forget the noble stuff, Robin...I’m saving your life here. SFX: Psssst! (sound of hypo spray thing.) ROBIN: HA ha ha ha...ha .....uh... PANEL SIX: Close up on Nightwing...he’s got a big grin on his face now that he knows Robin’s going to be safe, and he makes a joke about his own danger with Bruce. Robin settles back, exhausted, but he’ll be all right. The evil grin is starting to subside, but is not completely gone yet. NIGHTWING: And saving my own, too... NIGHTWING 2: You have any idea what Batman would do to me if he came back from Tibet and found out I let you get hurt? PAGE SIXTEEN PANEL ONE: Harley peers around the side of a chimney, a few buildings away from the rooftop of the De Milo Arms. She looks at Joker as he rants and carries on, but he cannot see her from his vantage point. JOKER: Harleeeey! Harleeeey! JOKER 2: Come out, come out! Daddy can’t kill you if daddy can’t find you... HARLEY: (whisper) I think he’s serious this time. PANEL TWO: Close up on Harleen, considering her predicament. HARLEY: So what do I do? Maybe I shouldn’t finish my book..? HARLEY 2: Maybe I should move to Mexico...? PANEL THREE: She squirrels herself in a cubby hole next to the chimney, with a decent vantage point to watch the Joker, and stay unseen. HARLEY: One thing to do is wait around a while before I go back to get my stuff.... He’ll leave when he gets bored. HARLEY 2: if I know anything about Mistah J.... patient, he’s not. PANEL FOUR: Harley leaves her cubby hole, and looks up at the sun. It is well and truly up now...so we get a sense of it being at least an hour later, if not more. SILENT PANEL PANEL FIVE: Harl climbs back down the fire escape that runs alongside the of the hotel she’s been staying in. She looks about furtively. HARLEY: It’s been an hour... PANEL SIX: She goes inside the window, still glancing around for danger...(she definitely isn’t looking inside the hotel room.) We see this from the P.O.V. of the fire escape, and can’t see in the room ourselves. HARLEY: ....That oughtta do it. PAGE SEVENTEEN PANEL ONE: Fairly big panel...Whoops! Big mistake! When she steps back into the hotel room, she sees that Joker is there...and he’s reading her manuscript....There are scattered papers everywhere, Joker has been dropping them as he reads them. If possible, the room is even more of a mess than it was before. Toys, a plunger, a desk with a typewriter, and now this mess.... The babies are still hogtied, and present no danger to Joker. And you can tell by the expression on his face that what’s written in this manuscript, is making Joker even angrier than he expected to be. Harley, is surprised by this turn of events, certain she’d given him the slip. She smiles nervously... HARLEY: Whoops... HARLEY 2: Heh... PANEL TWO: Close up on the Joker. He’s shaking the papers in front of him at Harley, who’s unseen in the panel...He’s enraged....not the slightest hint of a smile. VERY IMPORTANT: He’s pulling at his collar with one of his hands. NOT SCRATCHING, just pulling at it...like it’s bothering him. His other hand holds the shaking papers from the manuscript. JOKER: What JOKER 2: is JOKER 3: this?!?! PANEL THREE: Two shot of Joker and Harl. She’s concerned and nervous. Her body language is closed off, an unusual state for her, when around her puddin’...but he’s being very aggressive to her, and she can feel it. He stares down at the papers in his hands, somewhat stunned in disbelief. JOKER: It’s not your autobiography!!! HARLEY: Heh...ya shouldn’t believe everythin’ ya see on the TV, boss... JOKER 2: It’s a....ROMANCE NOVEL?!? PANEL FOUR: Close up on Harl...hopeful that Joker’s going to say something nice, but not expecting it. It’s her first genuine smile of the scene... HARLEY: Ye-ahh. HARLEY 2: It’s a “Harley Quinn Romance”...get it? HARLEY 3: Harley...Quinn? HARLEY 4: Couldn’t resist. PANEL FIVE: Joker leans in and really shrieks at her! He’s furious. She hunches her shoulders and tries to take it, but it’s quite a yell. JOKER: About a female master criminal...who falls in love with a caped crimefighter.... JOKER 2: ....named OWLMAN?!?!? PAGE EIGHTEEN PANEL ONE: Harley seem oblivious to the danger inherent in his manner and fishes for a compliment. . Joker continues to stare at the papers, but with his other hand, he’s scratching at his arm. (Important scratching.) HARLEY: You’re the first person to read it.. It’s called, ‘MASKS OF LOVE’... HARLEY 2: So whaddaya think? PANEL TWO: Joker furiously throws what papers remain in his hand at her head, causing her to duck JOKER: This is the worst thing you’ve EVER done to me. HARLEY: Sheesh! Everyone’s a critic! PANEL THREE: The Clown advances on Harley, kicking the chair that sits in front of the writing desk out of his way with enough force to be frightening. Harley looses her smile in the face of this explosive violence. Papers still gently float to Earth...it’s only a moment later, after all. JOKER: A story....about you and....and BATMAN?!? How could you? HARLEY: Owlman, ya lummox! It’s fiction...not based on real life. PANEL FOUR: She tries to make an end run around Joker, moving towards the door of the room, which leads her into a curious corner of the room near the entrance. It’s sort of like a small hallway on the way to the bathroom, and has a part of the wall jutting out....Joker turns to grab her as she darts past him, but misses. JOKER: Like that matters?!? JOKER 2: That’s not what people will think! JOKER 3; Everyone will be laughing at ME!!! PANEL FIVE: Joker suddenly grabs the end of the writing desk and starts shoving it across the small expanse of the room towards Harl...She tries to remain defiant, but isn’t convincing me. HARLEY: I thought that was a good thing...people laughin’ at ya. PANEL SIX: Harley becomes trapped against the wall as Joker pushes the desk into it. It forms a small triangle shaped space that Harley is inside of...the desk having been pushed at an odd angle to the wall...Harl is essentially trapped, though. JOKER: WITH, you ninny! WITH! JOKER 2: People are supposed to laugh WITH you! PAGE NINETEEN PANEL ONE: Joker leaps up onto the desk. He’s in a crouched position as he lands so that his hands aren’t far from the typewriter...Harley cringes, just a bit. JOKER: I don’t understand you Harley.... JOKER 2: How could you be around me...all these years...JOKER 3: And just never get it? PANEL TWO: He grabs the typewriter in both hands and raises it above his head. It’s a heavy looking, old fashioned one, and should it come down on her head, she’ll surely die. Harley puts her hands over her face. JOKER: And after all those times I tried to rub off on you... JOKER 2: Well, Gertrude Stain..... JOKER 3: ....You’re going to get it now. PANEL THREE: Close up on Joker, holding the typewriter above his head. The madness in his eyes is burning. This should be, more or less, Harley’s point of view, a grand up shot, with sweat and heavy breathing. The final thing she’ll ever see... JOKER: ....PREPARE TO BE TERMINALLY EDITED!! PANEL FOUR: Even close on Joker. His expression has immediately changed into something else. It’s a momentary pause in his thoughts. Some sort of short circuit in his madness stops him. He freezes, like his muscles have shut down. JOKER: Mmm? PANEL FIVE: Joker suddenly drops the typewriter. PANEL SIX: And starts scratching at himself with a vigor that’s hard to believe. He reaches clear around his back with both arms, contorting and swinging them wildly. Harley dares to look up, not certain what’s going on. JOKER: Ahhh! JOKER 2: What is it with all this itching?!? PAGE TWENTY: PANEL ONE: Joker’s scratching and writhing causes him to pitch backwards, throwing his feet up in the air. Being the Joker, he makes more of it than it probably is, but even so, the poor man looks agonized by the itching that’s suddenly come upon him. JOKER: It’s unbearable! JOKER 2: Harley, could you scratch my back for daddy? JOKER 3: It’s hard to get at! PANEL TWO: Close up on Harley as she crawls out from the enclosed space she was in and onto the top of the desk. She looks at Joker, on the floor now, still trying to reach around his own back, and not succeeding, and she starts to smile. The typewriter is on the desk, on its side.... HARLEY: I can’t imagine what could be causing this, Mistah J... HARLEY 2: Unless you came into contact with one of Poison Ivy’s giant beanstalks in the last twenty four hours... HARLEY 3: That’s it, isn’t it? PANEL THREE: Now we’re about to get strange. Harley has jumped off the top of the desk, and is kicking Joker in the shoulder (from the front). He’s down on the ground, trying to writhe around in such a way as to get Harley to kick him in the back to relieve his suffering itching. He scratches and twists, even while taking the kick to the shoulder. HARLEY: You want scratching, “puddin”? HARLEY 2: Well, how about this....? For that time you kicked me out of your gang! SFX: Kick! JOKER: Please...I can’t reach my shoulder blades.... PANEL FOUR: Harley continues to kick at Joker...he continues to writhe around. HARLEY: And this is for that time you threw me out of that window! JOKER: Oof! Not bad! A little lower... HARLEY 2: And this is for that time you were going to drop an atomic bomb on me and the babies!! PANEL FIVE: Harley stops kicking him long enough to turn around and grab the typewriter off the desk. HARLEY: And this.... PANEL SIX: Harley holds the heavy typewriter over her head, about to smash it down on Joker, exactly as he had planned to do to her moments ago. Only, instead of cringing with an arm up, as Harley had done, Joker continues to scratch himself as best he can, and seems oblivious to the danger. HARLEY: ....This is ‘cause you never really loved me! PAGE TWENTY-ONE PANEL ONE: Time freezes as Harley hesitates to smash the Joker’s head in. It’s not so much that she suddenly feels compassion for the pathetic creature that scrambles around on the floor hoping for a chance to scratch his own back...but because she suddenly feels no more hatred for him. Her saying that out loud, about his never really loving her...has caused her to understand she doesn’t need to kill him any more. A subtle, subtle point to be made in the artwork, but if anyone can do it, the incomparable Rick Burchett is the man for the job. Behind her, Nightwing comes in the window that leads to the fire escape. The early morning sun lights him from behind in a beautiful and golden way. Since the room is a mess, and rather dark, Nightwings backlit entrance should seem strangely angelic. NIGHTWING: ....Dr. Quinzel...? PANEL TWO: Harley remains motionless...staring down at the thing that used to be her boyfriend. Nightwing gently lifts the typewriter from her hands. NIGHTWING: Here....let me take that. PANEL THREE: Harley moves now...she steps over to the bed, about to sit down (but still standing in this panel). She ignores Joker, perhaps even steps over him. Nightwing tosses the typewriter back onto the desk. HARLEY: Okay...I won’t do it....and end up back at Arkham. HARLEY 2: Just take him away. HARLEY 3: I don’t ever want to see that lunatic again as long as I live. PANEL FOUR: We go tight on Joker on the floor. Still scratching, but he makes an indignant face at what she’s just said. Harley has sat down on the bed now, and we might see her feet in the shot. JOKER: What, just because I said I wanted to kill you? JOKER 2: Come on, baby.... JOKER 3: You used to love that! PANEL FIVE: Nightwing lifts Joker off the ground by an arm, snapping a batcuff on him as he does this. Joker struggles, not to get away, but to continue scratching. If possible, the colourist might make Joker’s skin a shade of red...Though he pleads, Joker’s manner is angry. NIGHTWING: You all right, Dr. Quinzel? SFX: Snap! (cuffs)JOKER: Hey!! COULD SOMEONE SCRATCH MY BACK....PLEEEEASE?!?! PAGE TWENTY-TWO PANEL ONE: Nightwing takes Joker up to the window....preparing to leave with him. Harley watches them go, but absently...not paying much attention. Naturally, Joker is a mass of twitches and dancing, made worse by his hands BOTH being cuffed now. HARLEY: I’m all right... HARLEY 2: Nothing hurt but my pride... HARLEY 3: Nothing broken.... PANEL TWO: Ext. shot of Nightwing swinging away from the building carrying Joker off in a fireman’s carry. Joker’s going nuts, but Nightwing has a firm hold of him. Silent panel PANEL THREE: Harley back in the wrecked hotel room. She’s still sitting on the bed. HARLEY: ...but my heart. ' PANEL FOUR: She starts to untie the hyenas, who, after all, have been in the room, still hogtied from Robin’s rodeo trick a few pages back. PANEL FIVE: The hyenas crowd around her, thankful to be free, as Harley looks at the photo we saw on page eight. She should be near enough to the upended suitcase that we remember the photo came from there. We’re looking at the back of the photo again, and see that tell tale rip in it, so we know it’s the photo she was looking at before. PANEL SIX: Reverse angle of the shot. Now we get to see the photo itself. It’s not Poison Ivy, as we were led to believe...but it’s a photo of Harley and the Joker. They’re locked in an embrace...he actually seems happy in the shot. It’s signed on the front, “Harley Baby, Love you forever!” She hangs her head, and we CANNOT see her face. HARLEY: Aw...puddin’. the end.